19 Years, 10 Takeaways: What Marriage Has Taught Me
Excerpts from my BYU Women’s Conference talk, with love to Jeremy <3
Work on you. You can’t fix your partner, but you can change your thoughts, your words, and your tone. That’s where the power is.
Circumstances can stay the same. Your thoughts don’t have to. The day I shifted my mindset, I became happier—and so did my marriage.
Be “Team [Your Last Name].” We chose each other. We chose this life. And we choose to keep showing up together.
Support doesn’t mean sacrifice of self. Be your own biggest advocate. Fill your cup. Speak your needs out loud. Then go cheer each other on.
Say what you want, not just what you don’t. Clarity is kindness. Hinting, pouting, or expecting mind-reading gets you nowhere.
Let things go. Most of it’s not worth the fight. Speak kindly behind their back. Believe the best. Your thoughts often hurt more than their actions.
Tone and body language are everything. Your face says it before your mouth does. Show love with your whole self—even in the “sliding door” moments.
Charity isn’t conditional. Moroni 7:45 doesn’t say “if he deserves it.” It says choose love—patient, kind, unprovoked love.
Raise your hand for heaven’s help. You don’t have to muscle through hard seasons alone. Pray. Go to therapy. Bring God into your marriage.
Speak hopefully. About yourself. About your spouse. About your future. Optimism is gospel light in your home.
You can watch the full Women’s Conference message here
*All these are conditional on a safe and healthy marriage.
